It was a beautiful day and the café was full of people. A couple of friends were sitting around a table when one of them said: “our society is becoming more diverse. We just need to ‘put up’ with people who are different to us”. “Yes, absolutely”, the other friend said. They nodded to each other and felt pretty about good their standing.
Social psychologists at the Utrecht University and the University of Canterbury are of the view that, while standing up for minority groups and embrace tolerance may serve as a fence against discrimination and violence, ‘being tolerated’ does not always feel good for individuals from minority groups and might even have some serious psychological consequences.
‘Being tolerated’ may have some unwanted negative consequences for minority members. In everyday life, feeling that others are ‘putting up’ with us may feel offensive and hurtful. It may convey the implicit message that what one believes and practices is not really approved, but just tolerated. The work by Verkuyten and colleagues suggests that when minority members feel that their values, lifestyle, and views are not genuinely accepted in society, they may engage in a variety of strategies to cope with these negative feelings. For example, they may avoid interacting with people or being present in situations in which they may feel disapproved. As a result, social interactions between individuals from distinct social groups in society may shrink and minority individuals may feel more lonely and isolated. Being tolerated might also place minorities in a dependent position and weaken their feelings of control and ability to affect society to tackle disadvantage, and achieve equality.
Among majority members who tolerate, tolerance may create a sense of ‘good grace’ and ‘virtuous face’. Tolerance may make it psychologically more difficult for minority members to take action against those who are considered virtuous and with good morals. Hence, practicing tolerance may feel good and virtuous for majority members, but it may have negative consequences for minority members. Identifying, recognizing, and calling out mere tolerance may help us make progress in finding more constructive ways to embrace diversity in society and make the most of it.
You can find out more about research on these issues in this article: Verkuyten, M., Yogeeswaran, K., & Adelman, L. (2020). The Negative Implications of Being Tolerated: Tolerance From the Target’s Perspective. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 1745691619897974.
